Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Gift in present clothing

Ever heard this statement by someone whose long-term relationship just fell apart: "I gave him/her my all and yet this is where we ended up."?

When I hear it, I try very very hard to keep these 2 questions from rolling off the tip of my tongue;
1. Can you itemize your "my all" that you gave?
2. Did you at any point compare what you decided he/she needed versus what the person expressed he/she needed that you gave?

I think it is easy for us to give people what we decide they want. Giving someone we care about what he/she wants is not as easy.
If you disagree with my statement above, I'd love to hear why. I might learn a thing or two from you.


  1. I agree with your comment as I have run into that difficulty myself.

  2. You are on point. you can`t itemize what you gave during the relationship.I wrote in one of my posts that "You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them" . I just gave you a sunshine Award.Please visit my Blog. :)

  3. I have to agree with your statement that what we think people want (and which we have given them) may be the last thing they want. But I think the statement that "I gave him/her my all" would not be wrong all the time.

  4. Why do I feel like I'm about to play the devil's advocate?
    Well, if I gave you a house, bought you a car, clothes, jewellery etc. then yes to ques. 1. We'll just add up the cost of everything and I'll send you a bill.
    Now to ques. 2, if you've been bugging me that you want this, you want that and I get you this and that, then I really did give you what you needed (well at least what you asked for).
    Thing is, you are most likely to hear a female make that statement "I gave you my all blah blah blah..." but then of course it is males that do most of the giving of stuff that can be easily quantified in a relationship.
    I suggest you get this book "Anatomy of Female Power: A Masculinist Dissection of Matriarchy" by Chinweizu. It should give you some perspective. Book's intended for men only but of course a curious mind like mine had to have a go at it. I've been meaning to do a sort of book review on it on blogger but I haven't quite got to it. Will do hopefully soon.

  5. @ Myne. I like when we make time to reflect on events we encounter in our lives.

  6. @ Didi. You are right about that in your blog post.
    I'm honored by your Award :-) Aseda kesie paaaaa.

  7. @ Nana Yaw. Yes, that statement isn't wrong all the time since there are some really selfless people out there.

  8. @ Efua. You had me laughing about how it is mostly women that talk about "I gave you my all blah blah blah..."
    I look fwd to reading your review on the book.

  9. Giving of a gift is your choice from the bottom of your heart. Because god gift us from his heart.

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